Paul Yeghiayan, CFRE
Senior Consultant
A fundraiser may ask a donor for a large campaign gift without hesitation, then struggle to ask the same donor about a gift in a will.
There is a reason for this. Legacy giving touches money, family, and death, and these subjects are personal. Many people do not like to discuss their mortality. Fundraisers may not like to discuss it either.
They may fear that the question will feel intrusive, or that the donor will think the organization is looking past the person to the estate. They may also fear questions about taxes, trusts, and legal documents that they cannot answer.
These concerns often come from respect. We value our donors. We appreciate what they have already given, and we do not want a sincere relationship to feel like a transaction. But silence does not always serve the donor or the mission.
A person may have supported an organization for many years. The work may be part of the donor’s life. The donor may already have thought about including the organization in a will but may not know how to begin the conversation. A thoughtful question can help.
The fundraiser does not need to become an estate-planning expert, does not need to speak at length about death, and does not need the conversation to end with a commitment. The task is simpler. Know the donor. Offer a clear invitation. Listen to the answer. Help with the next step.
The best legacy conversations grow from relationships in which donors feel known, included, and essential. They are known as people. They are included in the work. They understand why their support matters. The legacy conversation should grow from that relationship.
Consider a donor who has given for 20 years. She reads the organization’s updates. She attends events. She knows the staff and cares about the mission. No one has ever asked whether she would consider a gift in her will.
How should the fundraiser begin?
How to Start a Legacy Conversation with Donors
What has mattered most to you?
Do not begin with a brochure. Do not begin with a charitable trust or a beneficiary form. Begin with the donor.
Ask what first drew her to the organization. Ask what part of the work has meant the most to her. Ask what she would most like to see continue.
Then listen.
The donor may tell a story about a family member or friend. She may speak about a community, a belief, or an experience that changed her life. The story may explain why she has continued to give year after year.
This is what it means to know a donor. It is not enough to know how much she gave or when she last gave. We should also understand why she cares, and that knowledge matters more than a technical explanation of planned giving.
Russell James has found in survey research that donors respond more favorably to plain language tied to the causes that have mattered most in a person’s life. “A gift in your will” is clearer than “bequest.” It sounds like something a person might say. It does not sound like a legal document.
Most donors are not trying to complete a planned giving transaction. They are deciding whether an organization that mattered during their life should have a place in their future plans. First, we must understand why it mattered.
Discussing Bequests and Legacy Gifts with Donors
Who and what must your plan provide for?
Some fundraisers fear that a legacy conversation places their organization in competition with the donor’s family. It should not, and we should say so directly. The donor’s own security comes first, and so do the people and responsibilities the donor cares about.
“Your own needs and the people you care about should come first. After providing for them, have you considered whether our organization might also have a place in your plans?”
Or: “Many people first provide for family and loved ones, and then include organizations that have been important to them. Is this something you have considered?”
These words do not weaken the invitation. They show respect.
Every donor’s life is different. One donor may want to provide for children or grandchildren. Another may be concerned about a spouse, sibling, friend, caregiver, or pet. Many donors worry about the cost of their own future care.
The fundraiser does not need every detail. The donor simply needs to know that the organization does not expect to come before these needs.
Family and philanthropy are not always competing choices. Both may have a place in the plan, and the donor decides the place and the proportion.
That decision is not ours.
Fostering Open and Honest Planned Giving Conversations
Would you consider a gift in your will?
At some point, the fundraiser must ask, and this is often the hardest part.
We often circle the question instead. We may talk about another donor. We may mention a legacy society. We may leave behind a brochure. These things can help, but they are not the same as an invitation.
The question can be direct: “Would you consider including a gift to our organization in your will?”
It can also include more context: “Many people support organizations that have been important in their lives through a gift in their will. Is that something you have ever considered?”
Then stop talking. Give the donor time to think.
The donor may say that the organization is already in the plan. Begin with thanks, not with paperwork. She may say that she has thought about it but does not know what to do next. Offer information. Help her find the right person.
She may say no.
Accept the answer. A no does not erase years of generosity, and it does not mean the donor has rejected the organization. It means the donor has answered a personal question, and we should respect that answer as we would want our own answer respected.
A clear question is not pressure. Pressure begins when we will not accept the response, show disappointment, or try to move faster than the donor wishes.
Next Steps for Donors Ready to Plan their Legacy
What would help you take the next step?
Interest is not the same as readiness. A donor who is open to a gift in a will may need time. She may need information. She may need to speak with family or an advisor.
Ask what would be helpful. “May I send you some general information?” “Who else would you like to involve?” “We encourage you to review any decision with your own legal or tax advisor.”
The fundraiser should not draft legal language or provide personal tax and financial advice. AFP’s Code of Ethical Standards and the Model Standards of Practice for the Charitable Gift Planner both place the donor’s interests first. They call for accurate information, confidentiality, respect for donor intent, and the use of qualified independent advisers when needed. We do not need every answer, but we do need to know when to bring in someone who does.
The donor may also want to discuss the purpose of the gift. She may want the organization to know about it, or she may prefer privacy. She may welcome recognition, or she may want none. These choices belong to the donor, and our role is to respond with gratitude, clarity, and care.
Building a Strong Nonprofit Legacy Giving Program
The conversation is the work.
A good legacy conversation does not begin with a gift vehicle and it does not end with pressure. It begins with the donor. The donor has been known as a person and included in the work, and understands why the support matters. Then the fundraiser asks.
Not every conversation will lead to a documented gift. Some will help us know a donor better. Some will open a door for a later conversation. Some will end with a no. That does not make the conversation a failure.
Fundraisers do not need to become estate-planning experts. They need the judgment to ask, the patience to listen, and the humility to seek help when it is needed. They should also begin with thanks.
A legacy conversation is not an attempt to claim one last gift from a generous person. It is an invitation to consider whether an organization that has mattered during life should also have a place in the plans that follow.
Mortality is not an easy subject, and we should not pretend that it is. But when the relationship is sincere, and the question is asked with kindness, the conversation can be meaningful for the donor as well as for the organization.
Starting legacy conversations doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable. If you’d like to discuss how your organization can build a stronger planned giving program or equip your team to approach these conversations with confidence, I’d welcome the opportunity to connect.